Come…Fall in Love. I was 17 when I watched Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge. I was completely smitten by the characters of Raj and Simran, brilliantly portrayed by Shahrukh Khan and Kajol respectively. I fell head over heels in love with the concept of falling in love. My heart searched for my Raj everywhere I looked around.
17 years later now, I laugh at my naivety of believing that real life is a replica of reel life. I did find my Raj. My husband. I did fall in love with him. But after marriage. To be precise, arranged marriage.
I was no different from the most of my counterparts whose parents found a "right" match for their daughters. The parents believe that their experience and instincts about a certain guy is far above their children's wish to marry a person of own choice.
Isn’t it hilarious that the same parents who are apprehensive about love before marriage now give a license to love uninhibitedly to the engaged couple? I can imagine the couple standing in front of the family, their heads bowed down and parents ordering to them "Go, fall in love". As if it is so easy. So convenient. No big deal.
I would not irk you with the pros and cons of arranged marriage vs love marriage. Personally, it is of the least concern to me. However the bittersweet journey of falling in love with your spouse in an arranged marriage is undoubtedly interesting.
A friend of mine recently got engaged, it has been hardly a fortnight. And she is already discussing about honeymoon plans with her fiancé. I mean, this person whom she is going to marry was a complete stranger to her a few days back and she already claims to be deeply in love with him. Just like that, only in 15 days!!! Could it be possible, she left me pondering. I agree that there are instances of love at the first sight. But then is it the case in every arranged marriage? At least, I did not fall in love with my husband on the spot. It took me few months to ascertain my feelings for him. There was a sweet progression from getting to know him to loving him. The only hitch being that it would have been difficult to back out, if my feelings would have turned otherwise.
Love after marriage is risky but you want to explore. You are unsure but you are already committed. Love is in the air but you hesitate to welcome it so soon. You are afraid but you want to trust. You may dislike something but you want to give a second chance. You want to make it work. You are ready to compromise. In short, you agree to be in love and be happy with whom you wed.
Falling in love. Getting married. Living happily ever after. Sounds terrific but elusive. Marriage is a different game altogether. A couple discovers and rediscovers different aspects of their relationship throughout their marriage. They can grow out of love and they can fall in love all over again with their spouse.
Eventually it is the journey of love and trust which is important in a man woman relationship, how does it matter how and when they fell in love – before or after marriage?